Experimental Tic Tactics
by PretentiousLoser
Summary: Juno and Bleeker conduct an experiment. Well, more like Juno experiments on Bleeker. Fluff!


_Hi! I wanted to delve into the characters in my favorite movie, so I wrote this piece of fluff (I'm warning you, it's sugary) about Juno and Bleeker. I wrote it without deciding when it was set, but I like think it takes place after the events of the movie. Enjoy! Oh, and I don't own _Juno. _I would, but my brother is allergic to her saliva._

"Hey, Bleek?" she said, twirling the pick in her hand. She stopped, thinking better of what she had planned to say.

"Yeah, Juno?" he asked. He looked up from his fingers on the fret board, and Juno felt his puppy eyes wash over her.

"What's your favorite flavor of M&M?" The lilt in her voice, so obvious to both of them, betrayed the fact that she had changed her original question.

"Like, do I like peanut ones better than milk chocolate?"

"No, like, do you think that the orange ones taste better than the rest? 'Cause, all the orange food coloring in those Tic-Tacs might be warping your taste preferences or something. Hardwiring your brain so eventually you'll only eat foods that are unnaturally orange."

"No, I find they all taste the same."

"Really?"

"Pretty much."

"So you're saying that if you opened a pack of melt-in-your-mouth delicious chocolate candies, and they were all orange, your taste buds wouldn't immediately go into a state of absolute bliss?"

"No, but I'd be pretty sure that you were secretly paying Mars to specially manufacture M&Ms for me."

"I'll put that on my to-do list. First I just need to _Men in Black_ blinky-thing you so you'll think that it was a Juno MacGuff patented original idea and you'll continue to be in love with my endearing bursts of creative displays of affection."

Juno fell silent as she tweaked a tuning peg.

Bleeker stared at the section of brown hair that had fallen across her eyes. "What were you really going to ask me?"

"I think we should test this out," Juno inserted quickly. "You know, to make sure we're not missing out on our chance to add to the world's collective knowledge on the subject of M&M taste. This could be our big contribution to the world of science."

"I think we have some downstairs." Bleeker got up from his bed, Juno following him.

"A Nobel prize would look pretty damn good next to all those running trophies," she remarked as they went down the stairs. Bleeker always went up and down stairs awkwardly, as if the idea of taking them slowly was strange and alien. Juno hopped, her feet plunking down lightly every time her small frame landed.

Walking into the living room, Juno spotted the candy bowl on the coffee table. "That Carol," she said, "what a woman."

"So, how should we do this?" Bleeker asked.

"Well, you're the one who didn't almost fail science. I think it would make more sense if you designed the testing procedure."

"You're just too curious. That thing with the sulfuric acid was all Mr. Benson's fault for not stopping you." _Too curious, _he thought. The trait that defined her entire being. The trait of hers that had so much effect that it flooded over into his life.

"I thought curiosity in science was, like, a good thing," Juno said, taking a handful of candies.

"It is. Which is why you should come up with the experiment." He paused. "Just as long as it doesn't involve strong acids."

"Alright then." She paced in front of the couch, where Bleeker sat. Just as Bleeker had gotten used to the rhythm of her steps, she snapped her fingers and turned to face him.

"Got it." She extracted a yellow headband from Bleeker's nearby track bag. With careful fingers, she positioned it around his head and over his eyes. Bleeker shut his eyes tightly, adjusting to the pressure of his makeshift blindfold. It felt slightly uncomfortable, but he didn't wish to interrupt Juno's procedure.

"Okay, taste this." She placed a candy in the center of his palm. He chewed it slowly, seeming thoughtful. When he had finished, she handed him another, and he repeated the process.

"Which one was better?" Juno stretched the headband up and over Bleeker's forehead. "Could you tell which one was orange?"

"They tasted the same." Bleeker glanced at his watch. "Do you want to start our homework now? I'd feel pretty good if I got that government essay out of the way."

"No! We need a conclusion. That's the most important part. And it was the first one." She added seeing the confused look on his face, "The first one was orange."

"If it's so important, why did you draw doodles of elephants in that section of the lab write-up?" They were, he had to admit, quite good pachyderms.

"I need more materials," she said, tuning out his question. She walked to the kitchen with the candy. Bleeker cringed at the various _thumps _he could hear. Juno's presence in a kitchen was never good for either her or the room.

"Put your headband back on!" Juno called. Bleeker did as instructed. He could hear her footsteps as she walked back into the room. She sat down next to him.

"Open up," she said, tapping an M&M against his lips. But there was something different from the earlier two about this one. It was wet, and as he bit into it, he figured out what was on the outside.

"You dipped it in pickle juice!" he accused. His lips puckered slightly at the sour taste.

"Hmm, you'll have to record that in your observations. Now eat this one."

"I'm not falling for that again. You're being Lucy with the football."

"Hmm," she said, tilting her head and analyzing his appearance. "You do have a noticeable likeness to Charlie Brown."

"I do not."

"Fine, you don't. Now eat the candy."

He gave in and accepted the chocolate, which was, thankfully, normal.

"You may remove the blindfold," Juno said in a vaguely authoritative tone. "Now guess which flavors they were."

"I'm assuming that the second one, which lacked pickle juice and therefore tasted better, was orange, proving your hypothesis to be correct."

"How dare you accuse me of bias in my highly scientific procedure! I work only for the truth, not for myself."

"I was right wasn't I?"

"Well, yeah, but that was because you could clearly taste the orange flavor, which your conditioned taste buds find to be highly superior."

"Actually, I liked the first one much more. The contrast in taste was exquisite."

"Really?" she asked, tilting her head.

"Really."

"Then I'll have to have a taste." She moved closer to him, her lips moving over his.

"You know," he said, in between kisses, "this probably isn't a reliable test. To be scientifically correct, you should try one directly."

"The experiment is over." She flicked the headband against Bleeker's shoulder, causing him to flinch. "And besides, I can tell that it's disgusting."

"Okay, then since you forced me to eat that, you have to tell me what you wanted to ask me earlier." He had her caught.

She hesitated. "Fine. I was just thinking…why do you go along with everything? I mean, every time I ask you to do something with me, you always do it."

"I can't imagine not saying yes."

"Is this an abusive relationship? Because I just want you to know that you can get out at any time, and I won't hurt you. I promise."

"I don't think I'll ever need to take you up on that."


End file.
